“We’ll start him with an ugly girl to boost his confidence, like start with a girl whose like a 4”.
That sentence ended a friendship. It wasn’t something that was said to me, but by a female friend who was talking about setting our mutual friend up with a “starter girl”, you know a girl who’s not meant to for you to find love with, just a girl whose meant to be used as a pawn to boost the confidence of a shy guy. And this got me thinking…
What is it about todays youth that makes it okay to say things like this? Is that all we girls are, just some number on a scale that defines the type of girl we will be? The type of attention and love we deserve. Did our parents see us as babies after birth and assign a ranking number to us that would forever follow us around and define us? Why are all of our attributes, the things that make us who we are, all summed up in an imaginary number that’s only tied to our outward appearance? So you can’t love her for all of her qualities that maybe you might enjoy being around because she’s just a 4? I’ve never understood this whole she’s a 10, she’s a 9 ranking system for how attractive a person can be. Is that all that attracts you? I mean yes, the cake has to look good enough for you to want to see how it tastes, I get that. But after awhile are you going to be done with that cake after one slice because it wasn’t THAT good looking? Like what if it was the best damn cake you’ve ever had, but the frosting wasn’t perfect, or one of the strawberries was askew. You’re done with it because of that?
My point is, after awhile looks really don’t matter. Ask anyone is a long term relationship. I’ve been with my guy for almost 3 years. We have lived together for 2 1/2 years (yes we moved in together rather quickly I know). In the beginning I was always trying to look my best, I shaved my legs to the point where my boyfriend NEVER saw my legs with hair on them. I always had make-up on, I always wore my best outfits. Now, we live together, my boyfriend see’s me at my worst. My ‘I haven’t shaved all winter’ legs, my morning breath, my messy hair, my old t-shirts, my bare blemished face, HE SEE’S ALL MY FLAWS, and I his. What keeps our relationship going is the content of our characters, and ultimately the content of our relationship. I was originally attracted to him for his personality, and of course his looks. But I stayed for the personality. I’m in love with who he is, and I stay for that reason. One day were both gonna be old and gross, but that wonderful personally won’t age. Looks really aren’t everything, and if your relationship is just based on looks, what and empty relationship it will be.
If all you see when you look at a girl is a number, you’ll miss out on the girls who are real gems. The ones with kind souls, who have so much to offer, who can be loved, and will love in return. What a life of sadness you’ll know, because how sad is that, to view people as an object, to be ranked and used for cruel practices (like a ‘practice girl’ to boost someones confidence to go after the catch of a girl- a 10!).Because apparently only the hottest of girls deserve love and attention. If you need a ‘practice girl’ to boost your confidence, you’ll never deserve the girls that will love you for who you are, and who would make you happy. You’ll never deserve a real girl.
And ladies, why do we participate in this? Why do we judge other women? Why? I have never looked at a girl and thought less of her because of some arbitrary number that society told me she has to be. All women are beautiful, we aren’t a number. And if you think we are, than you sweetie, you’re a zero. Because someone who thinks like this, and categorizes women like this, you’re truly the ugliest of them all.